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January 22, 2008

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Oh The Mind Spinneth

I’ve been looking at the sticky note with my Clomid Challenge Test scores all morning long.
There is it, a pink square of paper that says “Here they are. Which way do we go now?”

Just as I reached for the phone, my mobile rang and what do you know but it’s the good doctor himself calling me to talk about the scores.

My scores are good, they are in the normal range. I’m OK.
Except for that pesky score in December….. The number that set the panic button off and made me realize all of my carefully laid plans had suddenly been uprooted and I was now a bona fide member of the TTC (trying to conceive) rollercoaster.

He agrees, it’s a mystery. That large of a jump just doesn’t make sense. Since the first blood test was done at my OB/GYN and they outsource to Quest, it’s possible it was a lab error. The others were done right at the VEFC (Very Expensive Fertility Center).

Or it could’ve been the stress that December morning. I was trying to catch a train to Boston and running late, I had to wait almost an hour at the clinic. I’d hadn’t had anything to eat/drink that morning, my body was hyper-caffeinated from a giant cappuccino….it could’ve been a lot of things.
Maybe my body felt old that month and my eggs were saying “don’t pick me, I’m no good”. I don’t know.

Here’s a re-cap of the scores.

  • January 2007 Score 8
  • December 2007 Score 21 WTF???
  • January 2008 Score 6
  • CCCT January 2008 Score 12.4

What will get me the quickest, healthiest baby with the least amount of money? That’s what it really comes down to.
I’m a logical kind of girl and VID (Very Important Doctor) is a logical kind of guy. We work well together.
It seems logical to me that the answer is….IVF with donor eggs. Specifically, K’s eggs which are eight years younger than my own.
While he’s not pushing me in any one direction, he agrees with my logic.

Two weeks ago I thought I couldn’t use my eggs.
Score says “Egg Finish” “Ovarian Reserve in Short Supply!”
But now…it’s a whole new baby egg game.

I now have to figure out if it’s a baby I want or if it’s my genetic baby I want.
To most women this is probably a no-brainer, but for me….it’s not that easy.