After every BFN, I’ve tried a handful of different things to cope with yet another negative. But the “Pretending I’m Ma.donna” workout is the best thing yet.
AF muscled her way through the progesterone and is having a party in my panties right now.
I didn’t go take the test this morning. I took my temp and it had fallen, same pattern as last month when, yes, let’s just say it: I was not pregnant.
It’s better this way anyway. It would’ve been really hard to not say anything to her for 2 days and this way I don’t have to worry about that.
When I took the trip to Boston I had to skip my progesterone Monday night since I couldn’t figure out on the fly how it would make it up there without melting. I figured it would not hurt my body to miss one little pill popper this late in the cycle. However, it probably triggered my body to think it could go back to its regular programming…and then my temp dropped.
As an added bonus I had a slight headache today. The special kind of headache I only get right before my period.
So….let’s just say I’d be totally surprised if I was pregnant.
I thought about stopping the suppositories tonight and just letting nature take its course. I’m sure I’d bleed within 48 hours. BUT. K says go take the test. So tomorrow, bright and early, I’ll be giving blood again.
Actually, I have another confession to make. I’ve never bought a pregnancy test. I steal them.
Just KIDDING!!! When I started this process, a women in a TTC group I was attending gave me a bag with 3 tests and I used those for March, April and May. Then I ran out. And…well, I said I was frugal, didn’t I?
It seemed silly to buy them when I could either just wait to bleed or go take a test at the clinic that would be 100% conclusive.
I’ve been waiting on one thing or another pretty much my whole life.
I guess I’m pretty good at waiting.
And so, 26 countries later–we were both ready to start! I try not to have any regrets, because I had some amazing years ‘waiting’ and we are both in such a better place to have children than we would’ve been 3-5 years ago. We have had a lot of fun together K and I, but our life was not well-suited for bringing a child into the world. Now, the late bloomers we are, we feel grown up enough to do this.
Queerstork guessed correctly! We are going to Bali and then to the Gilli Islands off the coast of Lombok.
- We’ve been to this country recently
- We started to go to this island in 2004, but a political situation changed our mind
- This island is completely unique to the country
- Many expats arrive and never leave
- I was offered a job on this island last year but declined due to TTC plans
*Warning* long post below while I sort out my head
This post has been a long time coming. As I’ve mentioned before, K does not work in NYC. She flies out every Monday morning to the client site and comes back late Thursday night. There’s not any flexibility in this and so the only time she can take vacation is in between projects. The projects generally last between 3-4 months.
Last Spring we thought she might be placed on a project in
She wasn’t placed on that project.
Then we were going to go on vacation in May to
I had the entire thing planned. We would start off in
Just before I bought the airline tickets, she was placed on a new project.
You getting a sense of how hard this is without adding TTC into the mix?
Looking back, these other trips did not happen for a reason. I hadn’t even thought about the health risks of some of these locations and the fact I might be pregnant. I was simply planning around anticipated ovulation dates and when K could take time off.
The past 4-5 years for me have been almost non-stop travel. It’s what I do. I quit jobs to travel. I could be the most frugal person you know. I save all my money to travel. I live and breathe to explore. I get homesick in airports longingly looking at all of the destinations to go. I will do anything to travel. I’ve even put baby making plans on the back burner because of traveling!
Now, with #4 BFN, we need a vacation for real. K has verified early September is approved for vacation. She will have 18 days.
This is not my ideal time to go because I’d much rather travel during the recommended 2nd trimester. But, this is the only time we’ll have for…? So hell yeah, we’re going!
But this TTC/could be pregnant makes it very difficult to plan a destination.
A lot of places like Panama (malaria), Amazon (malaria) and many other places we’ve considered (did I mention we’re attracted to third world countries that are in malaria zones?) are out.
Pregnant or not, we have a few requirements for this trip: beach, snorkeling, scuba diving (if I’m not pregnant I can join and if I am K can still dive), cultural interests, hiking, yoga and good food.
Right now, we are seriously thinking of going to a couple of gorgeous islands in South East Asia (slight, rare possibility of malaria!).
These two islands offer everything we want out of this vacation. If I am pregnant and feel like crap, I can just chill by the pool or on the beach. If I’m not pregnant, I can log in some awesome dives. If I’m pregnant but feel good, I can do everything BUT dive. Plus, there’s decent medical care on the island. I would feel completely comfortable on that level.
Added bonus: K has accumulated a gazillion Starwood Hotel points, so we could lounge in the lap of luxury without paying for hotels for at least part of the holiday. She’s pretty excited about this as our usual budget allows for $10 guest houses that have bucket showers. Many places in SEA have traditional showers where water is often dipped from a large barrel/tile tank. Sometimes there will be a hand-held shower head if you’re lucky. What I mean here is that it’ll be cold water. It’ll certainly wake you up in the morning. Also, there is always a spray nozzle to clean up after your time on the toilet, but no TP unless you’re staying somewhere swankier. Even with TP provided, you will still have a nozzle. It’s quite nice, really, like a Asian-style bidet.
I’m always the one who is fine with roughing it while she would rather splurge for more creature comforts. Example: I spent one month on a small island in Southern Thailand living in a bungalow where rats raced across the rafters in the heat of the night, so anything without rats and a bucket shower is an upgrade at this point!
CONTEST: The first person who can guess at least ONE of the islands we are going to will receive an I Love New York T-shirt! I’ll give you hint…we haven’t been to this island before, but we have been to this country. You can check out my new list “Travelher’s Travels” to find out where I’ve been.
*Those who already know can’t play!*
Thank you everyone for chiming in and saying GO! I still haven’t bought the tickets…but it looks like we’re GOING!!!
I’m all better now, thank you very much for your concern and the virtual hugs. I ended up meeting a 4 1/2 month pregnant (lesbian, IVF) friend for lunch in the park and she gave me a great hug. Later I had my usual 30 lbs of cats on me when I got into bed. Those are cat hugs every single night and I love them!
First of all, the nurse that called me back is my all-time not favorite nurse. She’s loud and gruff. I cringe when I hear her. She’s not mean, she’s just…not the most patient person I’ve met.