Daily Archives

August 15, 2008


Lunch in Santa Cruz, CA?

I know there are some peeps out here in blogland that reside in Northern California.  If any of you are familiar with nice dining options in Santa Cruz, could you let me know?

I’m looking for a place for lunch next Friday.  Thanks!

Donor Drama

So….last month when I found out I was not pregnant, the first thing I did was go on a search for a new sperm donor. I found him and by 10am I had checked it off my list and headed to the gym.

K, at work, was fine by the choice–she generally trusts I’m making the right decision and just wants to hear the main points/highlights. It’s not that she doesn’t care about the details, she just hates the research and finding of the details and I love that shit. We had a great weekend together, even going so far as telling a few people that we were choosing a new donor and oh wasn’t it great, joy joy.
By that Sunday night I had the novel idea that ‘hey, why don’t we sit down together and go over all of his information, ‘audio interview, lengthy family history’, you know. And once we did…all was not so rosy in donor land.

Let’s just say in my haste to find something/someone to blame and solve my problem of not getting pregnant, I looked over some things because I wanted the new donor to be the one. And upon closer examination, he was not the one after all.
We then decided to have another look at our old guy, Seth (not his real name!). What was it about him that was making me want to switch? To my horror, I saw that we’d never even ordered his audio interview or baby photo?!? Was it not available then? I can’t imagine how we overlooked these details other than that I was probably too cheap to spend the money on it back in February. Now…I want all the information and I’m willing to pay for it.
Well those two pieces of information paid off and won me back. We were staying with Seth. There was one more vial at the RE and 6 more on ice at CCB. Things felt good and I spent the next week secure in the knowledge that we had a donor both of us really wanted.

Later, I had a nice, long talk with the Doc and I questioned how does one know when to switch donors? Unfortunately with IUI’s there’s no clear data that shows switching donors increases the chances. You hear about the women who switched and got pregnant but you don’t hear about the others who didn’t. Plus, who is to say that they wouldn’t have gotten pregnant regardless that cycle, maybe it was just their time? In short, no clear answers.
We talked about Seth’s sperm, his counts, etc. He’s had other pregnancies, his motility is good and the speed of his swimmers is excellent–but his counts are only average, or ‘adequate’ as my Doc put it gently.

But isn’t that the Cryobank’s fault for not given us more?? I seriously think they sell off the bare minimum because they have to guarantee 10 million. You want more? Buy another vial. We’ve always had the 10 million, but only as high as 16 million. That sounded great until I heard of others getting 22 million. WTF?? I feel so cheated. I’ve heard others here complain about the counts of their donors from CCB, so it just makes me wonder…..

If this IUI cycle doesn’t work…we’re not only on to IVF, but we have to find another donor. We discovered that stupidly, we’d bought 12 vials of IUI ONLY and well…we may very well need IVF. The good news is that CCB will buy back the five remaining vials at 1/2 price. My stomach almost goes into convulsions thinking of the wasted money ($1400?? Gagging now…). I hate wasting money pretty much more than anything.
There was a beacon of hope on August 12th, because our donor was coming back ONE LAST TIME and he maybe he would give off some IVF quality swimmers. I’m not quite sure how that all works…but that’s what they said. I called. No IVF swimmers and now our donor has retired.

If I’m not pregnant this month, we have to change donors one way or another. The thought of going through all of that again and wasting so much money makes me crazy.
But it is what it is. Right?

This is the last weekend that K and I are home for the next six weekends so I’m feeling a little pushed for time to get everything done in regards to traveling. We have two 4-day weekends and then it’s off to Indonesia.
And now, to know that come Aug. 22, I may be on a new donor search as well…argh.

I can do this. I can do this.
You know what? I’ll find someone even BETTER than our current donor. And all will be right with the world…