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October 3, 2008

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Meet My New Best Friend

The Follisti.m pen.
That’s right, I’m starting IVF.
Less than 24 hours after I came back from
Bali, I found myself sitting in an IVF orientation class.
When I found out about the miscarriage in August, I called to get on their schedule as I really didn’t want to waste any more time.
My RE assured me that with my early miscarriage I’m 100% good to go as long as I’m mentally and emotionally ready to go.

I’ve never felt so ready.

There was a moment in Bali when I was having a massage and I thought, “but I got pregnant last month with just a little help from Clomid, I can do that again.”
Why not a few more IUI’s?
So I walked into the IVF orientation thinking “I’m just here to get some information”.
Then I opened up my folder and saw my RE had already written out all of my RX’s, they handed me a free Follisti.m pen (no meds inside), and away we went.
When I got to the stats page…well, my mind was already made up.
I was here for the long haul now. IVF take me away.

The Iffy News:


Maybe I could get pregnant again through IUI.
Maybe. But I’m no spring chicken (remember, I’m 39) and those stats are dismal. I’m incredibly lucky it worked even once. I’m wasting my time and insurance money to expect it to work again. I’d like to think I’ve paid my dues in miscarriage land, but those stats are dismal too. I’d love to see that I have at least a 50% chance at having a real, live baby with IVF—but I only have a 33% chance of doing that (and that’s transferring back 2-3 good blastocysts).

The Good News:


33% sure as hell beats the IUI/Clomid stats of 5-10%.
We have enough insurance left to cover two full IVF cycles (without meds).
My RE says that I’m a perfect candidate for this to work.

The Best News:


This week has been spent running around
New York City with a soft sided cooler and an ice pack doing d.rug deals.
Some really wonderful people have stepped forward to donate their leftover medications to me for this first cycle.
I’ve received meds that aren’t covered by my insurance co-payment–for free.
This has been a huge stress relief as the meds are almost as much as the cycle itself.
I am still overwhelmed at the kindness and generosity of these friends—two of the couples I met online (not in blogland) and have only met in person a handful of times.

It really does take a village to make a baby!

The Guilty News:


I think I’ve been holding this news back because I feel guilty.
What I mean is: this is an easy decision for me because I have the insurance money to pay for it.
I’m well aware that most of you out there don’t have this luxury and it’s so unfair.
Please don’t hate me for it.

Why Am I Finally Telling You This?


Because I just started my period.

IVF starts tomorrow.
I’m on a ‘no Lupron’ cycle which means I start stimming tomorrow, I’ll do retrieval in two weeks.
By Halloween we’ll know if I’m pregnant or not.
Damn that’s FAST.
I am so, so,
so excited to finally be doing this.