Daily Archives

October 9, 2008


Wrong. M*therF*cker

I just talked to my RE, Dr. VID (not the Dr. who scanned me this morning).
This was not the good conversation I wanted, but it was the one I feared after finding out I only had 4 follicles this morning. They are NOT all the same size. They range from 6-12, so that is super sucky indeed as they should all be trucking along at the same rate.
Fuck me.
Turns out I’m a pretty poor responder to Follistim–even though I’m injecting the MAXIMUM amount.
I had an excellent response to Clomid and produced the same amount of follicles.
(is this the part where I’m supposed to remember that while I was in Bali I thought I should do another round of Clomid?)

I’m so tense right now and I sort of want to cry, but mostly I just feel deflated.
This may not be an IVF cycle. If he doesn’t see much improvement in the next couple of days–we’ll call it an IUI cycle.
I guess that’s good news–it’s not all lost.

We’ve only got one vial of sperm on ice at the RE’s–I knew I should’ve ordered two. Now, I think I probably should another one just to be covered in case it’s converted to an IUI cycle and we want to do 2 inseminations.

I haven’t done shit at work today b/c I’ve been all over the internet looking at where other 39-year-old’s are at this stage of the game–none of it has made me feel any better b/c everyone else seems to respond just wonderfully to Follistim. A wonder drug it is! Hahaha!

Dr. VID said I could try another IVF cycle if this one doesn’t work, but agreed we’d be better off using K’s eggs. Hers give me a 66% chance of success.

Jesus Fucking Christ. Seriously? Seriously?! This is what we were considering last January when this all began and now it’s been 10 months and we’re back to where we started.
Fuck Fuck Fuck.

OK, I’m done cursing now. Until the next post. Fuck.


IVF, Day 6

I made a mistake looking at my IVF calendar and I didn’t have an ultrasound scheduled for yesterday, only a blood test for E2.
Today, I had both blood and U/S.

Here’s where I am in Pufferfish IVF land:

Saturday Day 1- 450 mg Follistim (pm)
E2=37 no cysts found
Day 2– 225 Follistim (am), 225 Follistim (pm)
Day 3- 225 Follistim (am), 225 Follistim (pm)
Day 4– 225 Follstim (am), 225 Follistim (pm)
Day 5– 450 Follistim (pm)
E2=143 (over 100 at this point is good)
Day 6– 450 Follistim (pm)
E2= 184 (slow rise, but they don’t seem concerned because it’s rising…)
Lining=6 (anything 6 or above is right on target for this point)
Follicles= 2 on each side, all measuring about 8-9

That’s a F*ckload of Follistim isn’t it? That’s what happens when you’re 39! I really would’ve liked to have seen more follicles this morning, I admit I was a little sad only seeing 4.
But, it’s still early. I’ve got a week left to keep up the stims and see what happens.
Next blood and ultrasound will be Saturday morning.

As far as my question per “exercise and your IVF cycle”? Well, I did some of my own research and everything says to take it easy, walking is good, etc.
I’ve been walking as normal–although a bit slower. The past two mornings I’ve decided to really take it easy by riding the bus up to the clinic.

This morning as I was walking from the clinic to my office, I noticed for the first time that I’m getting a little bloated. As in, it’s not quite uncomfortable to walk, but it doesn’t feel normal.
I sit here with skinny jeans unbuttoned wondering what the hell I will be wearing next week?
I’m not going to worry about it too much. In fact, if my pants don’t fit for…oh, I don’t know 9+ months…I’d be OK with that.
For the most part, I’m just chillin’ and relaxing. I go home and cook, read, meditate, pray, snuggle with the cats and go to bed. It’s not too exciting and I like it.

It’s kind of hard to believe I could be doing egg retrieval in a week.