Daily Archives

November 1, 2008

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Things I Didn’t Do/Things I Did Do

DIDN’T
  • I didn’t get dressed up and go to the Helloween Parade, which I really love.
  • I didn’t go to the two great Helloween parties I’d been invited to.
  • I didn’t get up this morning and do my Day 3 blood/FSH monitoring.
  • I didn’t put the beautiful dress and shoes Fab C loaned me in a bag and get in a car with the other Puff.
  • I didn’t go to the wedding 4 hours upstate.
  • I didn’t even think about going hiking tomorrow on our way back from the wedding.
DID
  • I did move from the bed to the couch.
  • I did take more medicine than I can remember.
  • I did feel like my head might explode.
  • I did take a bubble bath.
  • I did feel very special that Puff went to Expensive Foods on Helloween and read to me, over the phone, every single pastry/dessert in the aisle until I decided on what I wanted b/c I was craving sweets.
  • I did manage to watch a very bad movie.
  • I did lie to little children by putting a sign on my door stating we were out of candy so that they wouldn’t ring my doorbell.
  • I did sleep for nearly 14 hours.
  • I did feel bad that Puff had to go to the wedding alone (It’s a family wedding and I did want her to go).
  • I did decide that AF is way too funky monkey this month and I need to listen to my instinct–which says to give my body a rest from all of the fertility drugs that were pumped into it for the non-IVF cycle.
  • I did decide to ‘pause’ for November.

Where does this leave me?  I’m still sick.  I was feeling better and I went out to dinner Thursday night with some TTC bloggers–one from out of town whom I really wanted meet.  While it was fun–I should’ve stayed home.  I felt worse that night than the previous 3 and have only gotten worse.
My head feels like it might explode if I move so I don’t move too much.
Puff is gone tonight which really bums me out since I only get to see her F/S/S as it is.

The decision to take a month off wouldn’t be that big of a deal if it weren’t for my age.  I feel like I’m racing against a ticking time bomb and every month brings me closer to the dreaded 40.  My RE has been very firm that I need to get pregnant by 40 or else I’m in a whole other stats category.  I’ve seen those stats–he’s not joking.  But at the same time, I need to listen to my body and I feel like I’m pushing it too hard going from all those drugs straight into another cycle.  While RE says it’s ‘fine’ for me to do a Clo.mid cycle this month, I know that had I completed an IVF cycle, I would not be ‘fine’ to go ahead.  Regardless, AF is not normal this month and I’m taking that as a sign to pause and reflect.

I wish I didn’t have such a headache and could put this brand new TV and 1000 channels to good use.  It figures.