- I didn’t get dressed up and go to the Helloween Parade, which I really love.
- I didn’t go to the two great Helloween parties I’d been invited to.
- I didn’t get up this morning and do my Day 3 blood/FSH monitoring.
- I didn’t put the beautiful dress and shoes Fab C loaned me in a bag and get in a car with the other Puff.
- I didn’t go to the wedding 4 hours upstate.
- I didn’t even think about going hiking tomorrow on our way back from the wedding.
- I did move from the bed to the couch.
- I did take more medicine than I can remember.
- I did feel like my head might explode.
- I did take a bubble bath.
- I did feel very special that Puff went to Expensive Foods on Helloween and read to me, over the phone, every single pastry/dessert in the aisle until I decided on what I wanted b/c I was craving sweets.
- I did manage to watch a very bad movie.
- I did lie to little children by putting a sign on my door stating we were out of candy so that they wouldn’t ring my doorbell.
- I did sleep for nearly 14 hours.
- I did feel bad that Puff had to go to the wedding alone (It’s a family wedding and I did want her to go).
- I did decide that AF is way too funky monkey this month and I need to listen to my instinct–which says to give my body a rest from all of the fertility drugs that were pumped into it for the non-IVF cycle.
- I did decide to ‘pause’ for November.
Where does this leave me? I’m still sick. I was feeling better and I went out to dinner Thursday night with some TTC bloggers–one from out of town whom I really wanted meet. While it was fun–I should’ve stayed home. I felt worse that night than the previous 3 and have only gotten worse.
My head feels like it might explode if I move so I don’t move too much.
Puff is gone tonight which really bums me out since I only get to see her F/S/S as it is.
The decision to take a month off wouldn’t be that big of a deal if it weren’t for my age. I feel like I’m racing against a ticking time bomb and every month brings me closer to the dreaded 40. My RE has been very firm that I need to get pregnant by 40 or else I’m in a whole other stats category. I’ve seen those stats–he’s not joking. But at the same time, I need to listen to my body and I feel like I’m pushing it too hard going from all those drugs straight into another cycle. While RE says it’s ‘fine’ for me to do a Clo.mid cycle this month, I know that had I completed an IVF cycle, I would not be ‘fine’ to go ahead. Regardless, AF is not normal this month and I’m taking that as a sign to pause and reflect.
I wish I didn’t have such a headache and could put this brand new TV and 1000 channels to good use. It figures.