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February 10, 2009

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Howl

Yesterday, I came home to K who had pretty much all but created a powerpoint and excel spreadsheet to ‘see where we are’ and ‘what needs to happen now’ and of course inquired whether I had ‘formulated a strategy for the job search’.  She wanted to make sure I would do more cleaning and cooking now that I’m home and had already started making a list of “Times are Tough” dinner menus.  Whoa Nelly.  Can’t a girl just sit on the couch for awhile and process things?  I mean, it had only been 2 hours!

K is a consultant, this is what she does.  I just laughed at her and told her to chill out.
She’s freaking out big time, but I’m fine.  Really.

I’ve rarely mentioned my job on this blog, but I didn’t like it, I was under-utilized and I was glad to go.  I really do believe this was a (insert cliche) blessing in disguise.
The first 3 things I thought when I was called up to ‘the office’:
  1. Yeah!  I don’t have to move to that crappy cubicle! (the move was scheduled for this Friday)
  2. Yeah!  I don’t have to go to the all-day team meeting Wednesday where I have to pretend to be excited about data!
  3. Damn.  No more free office supplies.
This has been a job that I kept because I knew I was trying to get pregnant and it worked well with my schedule.  The hours were flexible, no one cared if I came in late…or not at all.  I’ve had 5 managers in 2.5 years and our team has had road blocks at every turn trying to get projects greenlighted.  I was the only remaining team member left.  Everyone else had either quit or been laid off.  
To say I was often not busy is an understatement.  Last summer my 2 other co-workers and I unofficially decided we would work part time…and no one noticed….
So seriously, don’t feel sorry for me.
I have been wanting to quit for a long time but kept thinking “but surely I’ll get pregnant soon…”  Eh.  Not so sure anymore.
The universe just gave me a swift kick in the ass and lit a little fire as well.
It was time to go.  Past time.
And yes, the economy is in the crapper, but there are still plenty of jobs out there in NYC.

I got a bit of severance and I have all the baby money saved up, so that equals over one year’s worth of living expenses.  Yes, I wanted that money to go towards a down payment on a house (condo/co-op), but if we have to keep renting, so be it.  K is the main breadwinner and it’s much better that it was me being laid off and not her.

Funny thing:  It had been announced that we were having a very important national call.  Everyone was gathering in conference rooms to listen in but I (and a few others) opted to call in from my desk.  As soon as they said they’d be doing layoffs in the afternoon, I immediately starting cleaning off my hard drive and emailing all my files to myself!  Ha!  I KNEW.

Also, during the ‘talk’ with the director (who I have only worked less than 2 months) he said that I should not tell anyone that I’d been laid off just yet.  WTF?!  I looked at him dead pan and said, “When someone walks down ‘the’ hallway right after a conference call where it has been announced you’re laying people off, trust me, everyone knows.  It’s like Dead Man walking out there.” (there were 15 of us yesterday)
He didn’t have anything to say after that.  Weasel.
I told everyone.

My friends were having a dinner party last night (good timing for me!) so I had the opportunity to drink wine and stand on the balcony of the 18th floor and howl at the moon as it rose over the east river.  It was a gorgeous full moon and I do declare: howling on a balcony just as good as screaming in a car.
Thank you Fab C, for joining in the howl!