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December 30, 2009

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Bummer

That is such an inadequate word to describe what I felt, but nevertheless it’s the first word that came in my Pufferhead.

Puffer no go home. At all. Ever. As in: Until I Give Birth.
For reals.

FaceBookers–you already know this.

The 24 hour urine test came back at 568 (300 is the cutoff). Those numbers kind of surprised me and the staff as when I was admitted my protein was zero, but it wasn’t a 24 hour collection (oh and to the nurse who complained about my ‘output’ I filled up that damn jug and started on another. I’ve got mad urine output lady!).
The result of protein in my urine combined with my blurry vision (that seems to be a bit worse…) gave them all they needed to keep me to monitor pre-eclampsia.
My blood pressure? Totally fine.

Carey: Yes, they draw bloods on me 2xday and are also testing for HELLP. So far, all bloods have been fine. I don’t *think* I’m seeing stars, but I’m going to pay close attention.

First I was stunned, then I cried in the dark, then I tried to get some sleep (failed), then I ate breakfast and bawled listening to Brandi Carlile’s “Dying Day”.
It was not a fun morning.

Chicken had a big presentation this morning at 8:30am and pulled an all-nighter getting it done, so while I really wanted to tell her, I didn’t want to stress her out beforehand. She called me and I told her anyway. Damn, that was some hard news.

There is good news!
I had an u/s and we did a growth measurement. At 32 weeks, 4 days: Chicklet is 4.7lbs and Shadow Boxer is 4.6lbs! Yeah! Little ole me is growing some nice big twins in there. I would’ve been joyful at 4lbs, so I was swimming in joy. If we can make it to 5 lbs, that is my new goal. They are doing great–they have a non-stress test everyday and all is well. And they are also BOTH vertex once again, so who knows, maybe I’ll get a chance to push after all.
I got a steroid shot for their lung development and will get the 2nd one tomorrow. This way if they do come early, they’ll have an extra head start.

I asked for and have already received a private room and bath. This is awesome, b/c I had…probably not the world’s WORST roomie, but close. She watched telenovas or People’s Court all day long and fell asleep during most of them snoring like a trucker. The trucker snoring only intensified at night. Her ringtone was set at the highest volume and was of a BABY CRYING. WTF?!?! I think my headaches will lessen in a private room!

There is a nice enough view of sunrises, although I’d rather have sunsets. That’s OK, I can see outside a big window and play music through my mac or just be in peace and quiet.
I could be here for 5 more weeks, so this is great.
While I have a lot I could be ‘doing’, my blurry vision is making things very complicated. It’s no fun to watch TV (have never even turned in on) or watch HuLu or an instant Netflix with this blurriness. It just makes me dizzy.
I have a great book that I’m reading with one eye. Ditto with the computer–not so easy to get things done when you can only see out of one eye at a time.
I think I’ll ask for an eye patch rather than holding my hand in front of my eye all of the time so I can focus.

Other positives? I don’t have to think about what to wear for the next month or what to eat or cleaning anything up. Yeah, other than getting excellent medical care, that’s all I can think of!

I’m trying to stay as positive as possible and I really want to thank everyone for their well wishes and words. It means a lot to me.
I have so many friends who want to come see me and I can’t wait to get some visitors. I know it will really lift my spirits.

Chicken is on her way up here and it will be so great to have a private room and get some snuggle time in. There’s even a chair that folds out into a twin bed if I want her to stay the night. She has cancelled her travel for next week and in now in NYC full time.
I miss her. I miss my cats. I miss my little home.
But this is what’s best for Chicklet and Shadow Boxer, so this is what I have to do.