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February 8, 2010

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38 Weeks vs 18 Days

Dear Maximo and Sebastian,


This past weekend would’ve been my 38 week due date. Full Term. Exit strategy employed.
One way or another, today I would’ve been holding you in my arms. As it is, nature had other plans for me and my body–with the end result having the pleasure of getting to know you 18 days earlier.

It’s true what they say about forgetting what your life was like before a baby. I remember…but in fragments. Everything now revolves around you, my sons. We didn’t know we were having sons. In fact we thought for sure we were having a boy and a girl. Or maybe two girls, but we didn’t really entertain the idea of two boys.
You see, your Chicken mommy cheated. Yes, she did and we kept it a secret from everyone for six long months. At the NT scan in August, Chicken looked up at the screen that gave the final results and she was pretty sure she saw an “F” in the box marked “sex”. I reasoned that could be the box for me, the mommy, but she reasoned back why would they need a box for that, all mommies are female. True that…
Even so, I never let myself believe 100% that we had a girl in there, that our Chicklet really was a girl.
When they called out that Baby A was a boy we looked at each other like “huh?” Both of us thinking, “well, then Baby B must be our girl”. You can imagine we were pretty shocked when they yelled out mere seconds later that we had another boy!
And then I started crying. Because I was so happy to have two boys. So happy to just have two healthy babies and of course once you were here I wanted nothing but two little boys.
Even in my drug induced haze, I remembered the fortune teller’s prediction that “I would have two boys but they wouldn’t be mine” and told the entire OR staff the story which they found incredible.

You are both so precious (and so different!) and I can’t imagine our life without you. We are so incredibly lucky that even though you made you way into this world earlier than expected and your mommy had more health problems than anticipated, we all came out perfectly fine at the end of it all. You came early because you were ready and we were ready to meet you. Sometimes I think we’re really quite lucky because we get an extra month of baby wrangling. You won’t be this small very long and we are eating up every moment of being with you right now.
Sometimes I hold you and just burst into tears and cry hot salty tears onto your little head because I am SO overjoyed you are here. I have wanted to be a mother for so long and you complete me.

Welcome to the world boys, it’s going by too fast already.