Monthly Archives

May 2010



Oh the thought processes are so much fun to read! But, nope.

One, only ONE person, has come very close…and I had a feeling she would, you Indian diety you.

Let me stress: a country where our dollar is stronger than the local currency. Check out the Euro vs. the USD. Not so good.

Also, gay marriage is very, very close to becoming a law in this country. Five gay couples have already married in this country after judges gave them permission, however, some of these marriages have been overturned.

Travel Trivia

Some people buy all new baby gear. We did not and I’m proud of my used/second hand/gently worn cribs, bedding, gear, clothing and toys. It’s my way of offsetting the carbon footprint I create by getting on a big ass jet plane.

We had been told that 4 months to 1 year is the golden age of travel with babies. After that things become quite complicated until after 2 1/2 years old.
With the money we saved from buying used (over 6K now, yes I keep track) baby gear, we decided to (a) set up the college trust for the boys (b) get the most of Chicken’s time off and go travel!

I spent many, many hours while tandem breastfeeding researching vacation destinations. Thank god for the iPhone. My life would not be functioning without this one little piece of wonderfulness. (As a side note, I’ve now spent about 1,000 hours breastfeeding. Holy Shit.) It keeps me productive. Best Push Present Ever. Screw diamonds.

Our first choice was South East Asia and for a couple of weeks we thought taking the train from one end of Vietnam to the other sounded grand. But it’s the hot, rainy season and 2 tiny babies cranky from the heat? Not so fun. Plus, the medical situation is sketchy and we would’ve had to hop a plane to Bangkok or Singapore to get quality care.

Of course I’m always game for Thailand, but wow are we glad we didn’t go there again because holy crap I didn’t see that coming. We’ll go back again someday when the violence has calmed down, but for now it’s too dangerous to fly in. And again…it’s HOT.
I realized I had to stop planning vacations for US and think of everything the boys would need–temperate climate, good medical care, nothing too demanding combined with what we need–a place that isn’t a 24 hour plane ride, where the dollar goes far (enough), family friendly, not terribly homophobic and we can get around easily with the kids. Good food is always a bonus.

Then, we got to watching the Olympics and thought we’d go to Vancouver (Hi E!). In fact, I planned out a vacation that had us flying into either Portland (Hi Donuts!) or Seattle (Hi Poppy and Cat and Kat and Bree!) and then driving up the coast. Or we’d fly into Seattle and take the car ferry or the train. And then we’d spend a week in Vancouver and the surrounding area. But…it could be really rainy. It could be a lot of time spent in the car (and thank god we didn’t do this one because we found out in Florida the car didn’t go so well….). And honestly, we can fly to Vancouver and do a week there anytime. It doesn’t take that long to get there and there are some really good prices on flights.

Back to the drawing board.
Finally, we settled on a destination. A country we have both wanted to visit for a very long time. It is politically stable with good medical care, is reasonable gay friendly and very family friendly, the cities are easy to get around without a car, the people are warm, friendly and beautiful plus there is gorgeous natural scenery throughout the entire country. The climate for this season is perfect weather for the babies. Neither too hot nor too cold. Just right for baby wearing and sightseeing.
Best of all, when Chicken’s mom and stepdad heard where we are going, they wanted to come with us! Yeah! We are going to have help for the first time in 4 months. A night off. A dinner out by ourselves. Eight hands for 2 babies. Perfect.
We will have one long international flight plus 3 domestic flights once we are in country. I think after this trip, I’ll be able to make some money writing freelance articles on how to fly with babies!

So, where are we going? First person to answer correctly will win a prize from our vacation destination. I don’t know what the prize will be, but I will pick out something cool when I get there and try to send it to you in a timely manner.
I will try to post the answer tomorrow or the next day.
Ready, Set, Guess!

***If I know you IRL and you know where we’re going, you can’t be a spoilsport and guess!!***

Right Decision

I got to the cat just in time. He was about to take a crap on the couch. There have been 3 other times we were not so lucky as he as already peed/pooed in our laundry basket, peed on our bed and peed on a baby item. He’s also peed/pooed once on the kitchen floor. Now that I write this all down I see what’s what.

I hated to do it, but I had to. I had Grunter in my arms getting him to sleep when I had to put him down quickly, thus scaring the bejeesus out of him, waking him up and sending him to fever pitch screams and just barely got to the cat in time to keep poop from my couch. We’ve put an old blanket down just in case, but still.
Damn. Having animals and babies is damn hard. Especially old animals.
He’s had a great life. He really has.
When Chicken and I got together I had 4 cats. She thought I was the crazy cat lady (I kinda was). We don’t have any of those cats anymore.
I took him in tonight at 8pm.
It was the right thing to do. We had 18 years together.
That’s a long, long time.
Be well Boo Boo Bunny. I hope we meet again in another life. You’ll hop on the bed and nudge me. I’ll lift the covers and pat the body pillow. You’ll climb under and curl up beside me, my arm wrapped around you, your head burrowed into my armpit, and your front paw kneading my shoulder. When I softly say your name you’ll look up at me and softly meow back. We’ll stay that way, like lovers, for a very long time. You were my kind of cat.


Baby Led Weaning

I am very, very, very interested in this method.
If any of you have blogged about this process in detail, could you leave a comment with the link in your blog? That would be great!


– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Oh and…

  • I did eliminate caffeine from my diet for a few days to see if it made a difference in nursing Mr. Fussy Fusspants. No such luck. Oh well, back to enjoying my latte!
  • I’m still not sold on CIO, but having the time to research other methods requires time to read sleep training books and time to read…what is that?? So I welcome comments on HOW DID YOU DO IT??!! Particularly if you had a fussy fusspants. If you had an easy-going baby…well, you are lucky!
  • We are still researching when to introduce the solids. The verdict is out. It used to be introducing solids early was the name of the game. Then, a few decades ago, the USA started delaying the introduction until after 6 months (at least here in the USA–please chime in if you are outside of the USA). Now, the progressive school of thought and research is swinging back as we have a booming food allergy problem. Peanut free zones, anyone? The thought is that we are creating more food allergies by introducing solids at a later and later age. Ah, the secret life of babies. I still think they are a little young and I’m going to hold off until 4.5 months at least especially with them being born a few weeks early.
  • CindyHoo–Yes, you can take turns in the night IF you have enough expressed breast milk to bottle feed. I have only in the past week been making enough for 2 bottles so this was never an option for us unless I stockpiled for a couple of days and then got a ‘night’ off or if we resorted to formula. If you are exclusively breastfeeding from the breast….there are no shifts ‘off’! Your boobs are in constant rotation! Plus, Chicken never gets to sleep through the night because her ‘job’ is baby wrangling while mine is feeding.
  • When the babies wake up (or one and we wake up the other) she gets up, changes diapers and I go set up the milk bar on the couch (I tried to tandem breast feed in bed–HATED it). Then she brings out one baby at a time and goes back to bed. I feed them, burp them and bring them back to the bedroom, put on the swaddle or sleepsack and put them back in their cribs. Most of the time I can do this without Chicken’s help, but sometimes I need her.
  • That being said, Chicken, oh glorious wife of mine, decided to give me a ‘bottle night’ as she calls it, last night. We did the dream feed at 10pm, I pumped and blogged afterwards and then went to bed on the couch while she slept in the bedroom with the twins. It is AMAZING what being able to skip one feeding AND get a quiet night of 5.5 uninterrupted sleep will do for you. I feel like a new person. Thank God. It was either that or die.
  • The boys are so freaking happy in the morning it makes me crazy (in a good way!). They are so amazing and at this stage it seems like they are changing daily. I love just watching them coo and gurgle and grin their way through the day. I love being a mom, but damn, this is the hardest thing EVER. I never, ever thought 2 little babies could be this much work. Nothing can ever truly prepare for motherhood, but I am so lucky to be able to finally experience it. Thank goodness I am an older mom with loads of energy. You certainly need it.
  • I’m convinced birth mothers have a mommy hormone that keeps them alive and trucking because while Chicken gets more sleep than I do (while I’m breast feeding) she still needs 3xcaffeine and drags. Anyone else notice this?? I’m tired but not like her. Must be nature’s way of keeping the mother alive!
  • Despite the craziness of the last trip, we are traveling again soon. You knew that though, right? Oh yeah, gotta get those passports stamped.
PS–Post on induced lactation and the ABC’s of plane travel with twins are in the works. I’m typing as fast as I can!!!

Quickly-A Month’s Update

And in bullets. I have so many posts swimming around in my head and just not enough time to write everything down, so I’ll try my best in bullets.

  • We went to Florida almost a month ago. The travel itself was pretty smooth. The trip was not. Chicken’s stepfather was dying of cancer and took a turn for the worst a couple of days after we arrived. We were shuttled to four different places–with all of our stuff and twins in tow–as a loved one died. The condo we were supposed to stay in was only ours for 2 nights as family members arrived to visit the hospital. We saw members of the family exactly once as everyone was constantly at the hospital and then at the hospice. In the end, we ended up having to get a hotel for the last 3 nights or change our plane ticket and come home earlier because we had no where to stay! The hotel was cheaper than the plane fee. It was terribly stressful. We fought for the first time since the boys were born. The babies were feeling our stress and they were cranky. We have never been more ready to get home.
  • The stepfather died the day after we left. Chicken’s father is a wreck (Chicken had two dads) and it’s all terribly sad. Cancer sucks.
  • We discovered in Florida that the boys really hated their car seats. That was not something we were anticipating since “all babies love car rides”. Eh. Not so much.
  • Upon returning home we decided to do car seat training by taking them out in their snap n go single strollers as much as possible. Three weeks later they are pretty good and we rarely have the meltdowns getting them in as we used to. I don’t know how they will be in the actual CAR, but it has to be better than before.
  • Florida was good practice for travel. We became a well oiled machine even while stressed out. We know how to work as a team and to get things done as efficiently as possible. Communication about expectations is key. We also realized we can’t do as much as we thought we could while out and about and need to scale down. Travel is different now!
  • The three month mark has gotten easier but a ‘schedule’ is still elusive.
  • Their feedings are still not predictable. We can almost count on 3 hours in between feedings, but there could be days that it’s 2.5 or last night where it was 2 hours. I know this is because I am exclusively breastfeeding them on demand, but it’s frustrating to know that if I were bottle feeding them or formula feeding them I would have more control over this.
  • We are getting better at naps. Since they started rolling over and we stopped swaddling, they can both suck on their fingers which is a source of great comfort to them. We still give them paci’s at naptime and bedtime, but we don’t have to worry so much now if they lose one.
  • We are also really paying attention to the signs that they are tired BEFORE they start whimpering so we can catch them in that golden moment and put them in their crib. We don’t do naps anywhere but the cribs. Living room is for playing and eating and bedroom is for sleeping and diaper changes. Period. I think they are getting it.
  • We are trying the ‘put to sleep while drowsy/tired but not fully asleep’ Weissbluth method. It is going pretty well with Grunter but Whoop Whoop is….well, he’s high needs!
  • We will begin sleep training and CIO in earnest in a few weeks after they have passed their 4.5 month mark.
  • I was initially quite resistant to CIO, but every twin mom I talk to who is getting quality sleep had to do CIO and get them on a schedule. It’s going to be SO hard, but I know it’s the only way and I know they are old enough now. I can’t have two babies who can’t soothe themselves. Impossible.
  • They had their 4 month pediatric appointment a few days ago (a week early) and things are looking good, but they are still so tiny. It’s weird because they are hitting a lot of the milestones on target (or before, like the rolling over) but they are long and lean and only in the 3rd and 5th percentile for weight.
  • I have to remind myself that breastfed babies gain weight more slowly than formula fed or bottle fed babies, but it does make me doubt my milk supply. However, when I pump I consistently get more and more milk, so I know I do have enough to feed them.
  • I’m still taking all of the herbs for my milk supply and therefore my armpits always smell like an Indian buffet because that’s what fenugreek will do to you.
  • It took 10 weeks for Whoop Whoop to latch on without a fight. We had about 3 glorious weeks of blissful breastfeeding, but for the last couple of weeks he’s screaming at the breast again. It only happens during the day. When he’s tired in the middle of the night or early morning he’s perfectly happy on the booby.
  • It makes me crazy because it’s not the wonderful bonding experience it’s supposed to be when he’s ballistic and it’s incredibly difficult to tamden feed when one guy wants to be anywhere but near your breast and the other guy is merrily sucking away and would stay there for an hour if you let him.
  • I started drinking caffeine again–just a single shot espresso cafe au lait every morning. I try to limit it to just this one glorious drink a day made right here in my very own kitchen. I haven’t noticed any effects on the babies in my milk and mama sure does like being a bit more awake these days. A bit more. Only a bit.
  • Speaking of…sleep deprivation sucks. I got three hours last night in what was a truly spectacular hell night. Haven’t had one of those in a very long time. I hope it doesn’t repeat. I don’t know how much longer we can go only getting sleep in increments of an hour or two here and there. Sometimes we are sure we are cracking. It’s not pretty. Because you blame the babies. And it’s not their fault, they are only babies. But it will make you crazy, the lack of sleep for months on end.
  • Which brings us to the dream feed and maybe a bit of formula. This week we have introduced the dream feed. The boys usually go down for a long stretch beginning their night time at 7-ish. At 10 we have started giving them a bottle of breast milk and then we go to bed. After this bottle they will sleep (usually) 3 hours but sometimes even longer. It’s unpredictable but we’ll take what we can get. So far we haven’t had to use formula to do this, but if I don’t have enough breast milk, I’ll do it. At this point–to get a little more sleep–yeah, I’ll do it.
  • Because while I was in denial I really had bags under my eyes in my passport photo, turns out I do. That’s what four months of no good sleep will do to you. It ages you.
  • Next month we have been advised from our pediatrician to start on solids–first up: applesauce, followed by bananas and then rice cereal. SOLIDS! They are growing up so fast. I can’t get over it. But I’m really looking forward to seeing their expressions when they eat for the first time!
  • All of you who reassured me the preggo weight would come off were correct. I’m down to the final five pounds and I can now fit into 3 pairs of my old jeans and a few pairs of pants. I still feel super flabby and I’ve got a little bit of jiggly belly, but for not stepping foot in the gym, I feel damn lucky. I know with the right amount of cardio, pilates and yoga I can be back to almost pre-pregnancy fitness. Someday.
  • Our gym has baby and me yoga and pilates….we have yet to make it! But we will!
  • Some of you may recall I had to put my 18 year old cat, Savvy, to sleep the month after the boys were born. Since then, my other 18 year old cat, Bunny, has rapidly declined. The last two weeks have been the most notable and I don’t want to wait as long as we did with Savvy. After she was gone, we realized that we’d waited too long and just how bad her quality of life had been for quite some time. This cat is very special to me. He was my favorite (I know, you are not supposed to have one…) and I know he is suffering. I was truly hoping that both of them would pass before the babies were born so they would never be pushed out of the spotlight. But that didn’t happen. It makes me so sad to know that Bunny has spent the last months of his life not getting the attention he was used to for 18 years. Now, I am trying to do the humane thing and ease his suffering before he gets worse. Tomorrow I have to say goodbye and my heart will break.
  • Chicken returns to work at the end of June and even though she will work from home quite a bit, I am terrified at the thought of suddenly losing my full time mommy help. We have been doing this together the entire time and I have no idea how I’m suddenly going to manage by myself. I feel like such a wuss because I know so many twin moms do it solo, but I honestly don’t know how. If I had two babies like Grunter–yes, I could do it. But with one Whoop Whoop? I am TERRIFIED!! If you don’t have a high needs baby, you have NO idea!!
  • Stay tuned for how it all turns out…..

Where Are We Going, Mommy?

For those of you following along, it took 2 more tries to get their baby photos for the passports! Four total.

The third time wasn’t a charm at all as the nice woman wasn’t working and #1 A-hole was.
We decided to go to a different location and get them done there…and by the time we got there both babies were asleep! Didn’t matter anyway because this location had a non-working piece of machinery and couldn’t do it. Urgh.

We took a day off after that and I practiced a bit on my own at home and decided that I would bring my camera in as it had a faster speed than the one the store was using.
The girl working was really nice about me wanting to use my camera. And….that’s what worked! We laid each boy down on a white piece of poster board and stood above them and snap! Yeah!!

It took us 3 hours at the passport agency and that’s WITH an appointment. I swear, we got the slowest government employee there. He was totally overwhelmed with the fact he had to do 4 applications at once. We had to stand up there at the window for almost 2 hours…
And can I tell you how many kids were at that place? It was like a nursery in there. We didn’t need to worry about bothering anyone with a baby crying because there were about 20 kids in there under the age of 3, no kidding.

The next day Chicken was able to go down and pick up our new passports.
I still can’t believe we all have this new last name and now we all have every single piece of legal documentation to show it. We are a family. With all the same last name. And passports!
Where are we going, Mommy?
(Yes, I stole this idea from Next in Line! It was too cute to resist!)

Little Man

Little Man in the morning light on my chest

Smiling, reaching, stretching your neck up and down from side to side
Experimenting with this new trick of yours, how strong you’ve become
Cooing at the shadows on the walls, mouth in an O at the wonder around you
Sweet, warm, baby breath upon my face
Tiny fingers grasping onto my big ones
I nestle my face into your neck and drink you up
This moment of ours in the early morning
I would give up anything for you
Just to enjoy every minute with you
These precious days are going by all too fast
Who knew a love like this was possible…
If you want to stay on my chest all day as morning lights to afternoon and fades to evening…
We could.

Happy Mother’s Day

A year ago I was giving Chicken a Lupron shot in the upstairs bathroom of her mother’s house as we started our egg donor cycle.

This year I’m a mother of two amazing little boys.
I hope you all get to celebrate Mother’s Day next year.
If you are already a mother, I hope you stop every day and cherish the small moments.
I am learning they go by all too soon.