I feel so alone. I keep searching for a blog that mirrors what I’m going through. A woman who is as sleep deprived as me. Who has what seems to be the world’s fussiest baby. Who has twins that won’t nap–no matter what technique I try.
Are you out there? Talk to me.
Why is this so hard for me and it seems to be so easy for others?
It’s been almost 6 months. I am so exhausted. I cry almost daily.
I want to look at my babies and think lovely thoughts but most of the time I’m thinking “please sleep for mommy”.
Because when they nap, they are less fussy and then it’s magical.
I’m feeling like I’m reaching a breaking point and I’m scared. Chicken is scared.
Last night they woke up early and I was so frustrated I repeatedly kicked the metal bathroom door while peeing. Barefoot. I don’t kick things. Ever.
Then I limped out to the couch and opened up the breastaurant and bawled my head off.
I have spent exactly 10 hours away from my twins in 5.5 months. Yes, I’ve been counting. The hours are that precious.
Some days, when I run across the street to the drugstore, I’m tempted to just keep walking.
I just want to walk until I find a nice, quiet room and sleep and sleep and sleep.
– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Well, I can hardly believe it myself but it’s already that time.
Grunter is going to be crawling before we know it. If you put him on his back under the play gym, he flips himself over quickly and “swims”. He gets very frustrated that he’s not getting anywhere! This cracks me up since less than a month ago he HATED tummy time and then one day…preferred it.
And that’s what babies do. They are always changing up their game and keeping you on your toes.
It happened yesterday, that oh shit! moment. I had put him under the play gym which is on top of one of those interlocking foam square play areas. We have a pretty big area (or so I thought) and I often will put them down to play while I do other things–including a quick trip around the corner to the kitchen. I pop my head out often to make sure everything is ok and keep an ear out for trouble.
I heard Grunter give out a cry and figured that Whoop Whoop had probably kicked him.
I had only been in the kitchen long enough to get the bottles out of the fridge and put them in a hot water bath to warm up.
But it was long enough for him not only to flip over but apparently KEEP rolling–something I’ve never witnessed–and he ended up face down on the hard wood floor!
He was totally fine. I was more upset than he was! But it was that scary moment of realizing how mobile your ‘baby’ is becoming and all the things you have to do to get ready NOW.
Our entertainment “table” is the biggest hazzard. The TV is too low, all of the equipment is exposed and there are a gazillion cords everywhere. There’s no solution to fix it so I’m looking at media cabinets. We have put off buying new furniture for…hmmm…most of the relationship!
The couch and the desk we bought new together about six or seven years ago.
Every other item in the house has either been bought used/second hand stores/goodwill or found on the street or down stairs in our garbage room on a tenant’s moving out day.
Having kids has forced us to step it up a notch and buy some new stuff!
So while I hate spending the money, I’m very happy to get rid of the crappy end table that I found in an office bathroom 13 years ago.
And I was delighted to replace the wooden and iron coffee table that had jagged, chipped wood (totally an accident waiting to happen) with a soft sided leather coffee table/ottoman/storage bench. The old one went back to the garbage where we’d found it years earlier.
And the Lazy Boy. Well, that was just a gift from god. Money well spent as I lived in it my entire 3rd trimester.
Bit by bit, we are getting it together and adjusting to this new stage of parenthood and kids.
What did you do to baby proof or rather what did you find out you should have done? Do I really need to bolt the bookcase to the wall (I’m leaning to yes…)?
Any other tips??
– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Yesterday was a particularly hard day in Pufferville. I try not to blog on days like that because the thoughts I have aren’t pretty. In fact, I started to blog yesterday and I’m going to delete it.
The thoughts I have change radically from day to day, hour to hour.
Right now, it’s all about naps.
Sleep. Lack of. For me. For the babies. Yuck.
However! Sleep training at night time is going very, very, very well. No complaints there and it worked FAST. (Yes, yes, I know I keep promising I’m going to write a detailed post about it and I am, I swear).
So after we got the kids to sleep–6:20! No crying!–I really needed to decompress and I discovered something about myself. When I am really needing to ‘escape’ I do the same type of thing: I order Asian food (Vietnamese or Thai) and look at things on the internet that have to do with South East Asia. It is my ultimate escape. I love dreaming about the next vacation or perhaps living abroad for awhile.
For instance, last night I looked at a website of villas to rent on the island of Phuket. There are some sweet deals out there! Look at this one. That’s only $112/night per couple with a FT chef and housekeeper! With FREE child and toddler friendly removable stair gates, kid’s toys, CD’s and DVD’s, child’s bikes, high chairs, cribs and car booster seats!!
It was enough to make me want to start emailing my friends asking who wants to go in on a vacation villa in Thailand, but Chicken stopped me (Next in Line?)
Other times, I look at blogs of people traveling in SEA or I’ll just search for photos.
What do you do to escape? How do you decompress and day dream?