Last Thanksgiving some of Chicken’s relatives thought it would be a great idea if we ALL did a family beach vacation in NC. This location is nothing new to the fam. They go there every year, rent a big house and basically sun themselves into wallets while downing copious amounts of alcohol.
I went the first year we were together (10 years ago) and we have never returned. It’s far, it’s not cheap and it’s just not my thing.
However, since we (the ‘cousins’) were all due to have babies this year, the parental units thought it would be a great opportunity for us to all spend time together. We would all get separate condos and have our own ‘space’ and get together at each other’s places for drinks and dinner, etc.
At the time….it sounded like it might be a good idea.
At the time….I didn’t actually HAVE seven month old twins. I didn’t KNOW what it would be like to ride in a car with them for UP to 14 hours. I couldn’t IMAGINE that I would have those kids that need things ‘just so’ in order to be happy and content.
I THOUGHT, “How hard could it be? They’ll be 7 months old. They’ll be sleeping through the night. They’ll sleep in the car on the way down there. We can put them in the stroller and go out to dinner. They can sleep on the beach while we relax. When they wake up they can play in the sand and we’ll take them in the pool/beach.”
Fast forward to 7 months old and….they don’t sleep through the night. They won’t sleep for the entire time in the car. Their sleep will be terribly disrupted and we’ll probably have to do sleep training again. They won’t sleep in the stroller in the evening and I don’t WANT to undo all the hard work we’ve done over the summer to ‘see’ if we can just ‘put them down’ somewhere else. They don’t sit up on their own yet, so that makes everything more difficult. We can never go out to dinner because they need to go to sleep by 6pm. We can’t even go over to someone else’s condo together because one of us has to stay home with the babies.
And we’ll have very little in terms of help because everyone else has kids!
The grandparents will be there but they have 6 grandkids (4 of them under the age of 7 months)/3 couples arriving. So, we also won’t have the 1-1 attention like we did in Argentina. Not to mention that we don’t even all have condos side by side. They are spread out all over the place across this huge complex so we can’t just run next door if we need something.
I have been stressing about this vacation ALL SUMMER LONG. It does not sound fun, it does not sound relaxing and it sounds like SO much work.
To make things worse, I have come down with a summer cold in the last 2 days and it just keeps getting worse. Today, I’m running a low grade fever and the boys are congested and FUSSY as hell. In fact, W2 has been crying the entire nap time. He has completely regressed this week and I am so scared of taking them out of their environment like this.
One of Chicken’s cousins (who is newly pregnant and not going on this trip) has expressed a lot of concern over how hard this is going to be for us and how Chicken’s mother is not going to be very understanding of our strict ‘baby policy’. This is what I have feared for months.
Because Chicken’s brother has one of those babies that is SOO easy. And Chicken’s mother is around this baby all the time and we hear the comparisons. I know she’s going to insist that we just disrupt the boys schedule and ‘see what happens’.
I am so fearful of this that I’ve even done role-playing with Chicken so that she can practice standing up to her mother. I would do it myself…but we all know the rules with MIL’s.
This is the same woman who refused to wash her hands before holding my babies and when I insisted, she later gossiped to other family members about how insulted she felt. This is the same woman who lets my babies watch TV even though I have asked her to please turn it off while they are in the room because they get over-stimulated and crazy. She wants things done her way and she needs to be in control.
She hasn’t quite figured out that WE are the mommy’s now. She had her turn and it’s our game now.
I feel like there’s no way out. She has paid for the condo as our joint birthday present and I’m very grateful for that. She is even loaning us one of her cars to drive down so we don’t have to spend a fortune on renting a car from Manhattan.
If we cancel because I am sick, I will never hear the end of it.
But nothing takes away the fact that on Friday night at 2am, we are supposed to pack the boys up and drive up to 14 hours straight with me and them possibly feeling like complete shit.
I don’t want to go.
Oh, and I have thrush. I was up all night last night as the boys cried for 2 hours straight and tiny little knives were being thrust through my right breast.
I finally took a pack of frozen berries out of the freezer and iced my tit til the knives stopped. Then the babies finally stopped crying and I fell asleep as well.
Right about that time, the cat started howling and woke me up through my ear plugs.
Don’t grab frozen mixed berries as an ice pack because they will melt and you will wake up and think that your breasts are bleeding and it will freak your shit out. Grab the peas instead.
I am a mess today. An absolute nightmarish mess and I really, really don’t want to go.
I don’t know if I’m asking for advice or just venting but feel free to comment.
I’m trying to find the positive, but I’m not finding it. If you see it, please point it out so I can adjust to a different point of view.
Right now, my viewpoint sucks.