Monthly Archives

October 2010


Urgh, Just ONE More Thing

Good thing I was able to sleep most of the day yesterday because Grunter woke up at 1:15am burning with fever and I was up with him until 4am. Right as I got to sleep….Whoop Whoop woke up. Same thing. I gave them both tylenol, nursed, slept with them on my chest…whatever it took.

But Mommy here didn’t get ANY sleep until 7am when Chicken took over.
It’s better that I let her sleep when I can because then she can be full-on, 100% there for me when I need it. We also had HN put in some extra hours today so I could get a few hours of rest.
Thankfully, the boys were only having a normal reaction to their flu shots they received yesterday (I couldn’t go to their 9 month appt) and are mostly feeling themselves this afternoon–if just a tad bit crabbier.

The knots are still in my breast, there is a slight red rash and now I’ve got myself freaked out that maybe they are lumps of a different kind. Breast cancer runs high in my family and I am now paranoid.
I put in a call to my breast surgeon to see if they can do an ultrasound for me. I’m very hesitant to submit to a mammogram with the radiation and breastfeeding. “Some” say it’s OK, “some say it’s not. The jury is out.
I also called my OB–can’t see me for weeks. A new OB can’t see me until December or January!
And left a vm for my LC to see if she’s in the city next week and can come over for a house call.
SOMETHING has to work.

I hope tonight is a better night for us all.
We’ve got a Halloween party to attend tomorrow afternoon at the GLBT Center and more festivities planned for Sunday. I hope the boys don’t freak out in their costumes like they did for the photo shoot! I need some good photos of my little monsters!!

What IS it?

For TEN days now I’ve been battling the same clogged milk ducts and milk blisters.
I am doing everything possible including taking soy lecithin.
Bravely, I have taken a needle to my nipple and pierced the skin so the trapped milk will flow freely.
Everytime it seems like I’ve gotten all the lumps out–I wake up to start it all over again.

I’ve kept mastitis away, BUT last night felt a chill coming on. Sure enough, within the hour my temperature had spiken and I was freezing. I went to bed early and burrowed down under my comforter but couldn’t get warm despite the fact it was 70 degrees.
It was exactly like the last time I got mastitis–coming on fast and furious.
But, I didn’t have the rock hard breast, the red rash and when I pumped milk came out.
Maybe I was getting the flu??

All night long I tossed and turned alternating between freezing and so-hot-I-have-to-take-off-all-my-clothes.

God bless Chicken who took over this morning after I fed the boys.
I conked out, sweated my ass off, then the fever broke, drenching my clothes and sheets. The whole morning and afternoon is a blur.

By 4pm I was ready for some fresh air, felt weak, but fine.

However, tonight, I’ve still got this red rash on my breast–usually a tell-tale sign of mastisis.

Sigh. I just don’t know. I’m so ready for this to be over.


Snip, ReSnip

This very controversial topic was brought up this past week by Ruby, brave soul.

Now, I’m going to go there.

We had ours done in the hospital by the OB on staff. One was perfect, one was not.
For over 8 months we’ve known a surgery was in our future.

Yesterday that day arrived.
It’s a horrible feeling to watch your baby go down the corridor of a hospital being held by a pediatric anesthesiologist. Your heart aches knowing he is going to go under and have his sliced again.
He’s fine. It was a horrible day and I spent all afternoon with a very sad, sleepy baby on my chest.
By evening he was ready for his dinner and smiling, if still very sleepy. He slept through the night and today is almost back to his old self. Children are amazingly resilient. But oh, how I wish we didn’t have to find out like this.

Now, you would think after all that, we would be firmly in the “anti” camp. But, for reasons I’m not going to go into, we still aren’t sure. What we do know, is that if we had to go there again and we DID choose to snip, we would do as Strawberry suggested and I would second: if you are going to go this route, use a mohel. We didn’t even know this was an option for us, as we are not Jewish.

I asked my pediatric urologist surgeon if he saw more of this type of surgery from the mistake of an OB or a mohel. Without a doubt, he said, an OB. OB’s are more conservative and often leave too much foreski.n, the cells become sticky and the skin grows back together. They rarely had to re-correct the work of a mohel.
We wish we’d known, we would’ve gladly bought bagels and lox for ourselves, had a small bris and been Jewish for a day.

If you feel the need to write me hate mail, go ahead. Just don’t be a pussy and do it anonymously.

Pushing Back

***Oops! You are all correct, it’s not until Nov. 7th. I assumed it was this weekend as it’s always on the same weekend as Halloween. Yippee! We are ahead of the game, I love that.***

In anticipation of the time change this weekend, we have been tweaking the twin’s schedule by 10 minutes each day.

Our goal is to have them at the hour change by the time it occurs.
So far, we’re up to 30 minutes time change for naps, eating, bath and bed.

But, they are still waking up early–not QUITE as early as the 4:45am’s they’ve done in the past month–but early. I hope this gets better, because I can’t imagine them waking up even earlier once the time change happens. God help us.

For those of you who have had to deal with this before, how bad was it? Did it totally throw your baby off schedule? How long did it take to readjust?
Any tips/suggestions?


7 Out of 7

Thanks for all of your suggestions for showering. You are some clean momma’s! Thank god there were a few of you who also choose sleep (or a clean house) over a shower.

Funny, when I started this blog I certainly never saw THAT post coming!!

There were some good ideas….BUT…I soon realized my readers have MUCH bigger bathrooms than the typical NYC bathroom. So, I thought you might enjoy a glimpse of the space issues we are dealing with here in Manhattan.

You can’t sit on the toilet AND close the door at the same time. Unless you turn sideways. And then your legs hit the kitty litter box.
Impossible to fit any kind of exersaucer through the door nevermind where to put it!
We retired the bouncy seats almost 2 months ago when they started flinging themselves over the side. They wouldn’t have fit anyway.
Also, not a possibility of putting 2 crawling/cruising boys in a bathroom with a litter box and granite floors.
Oh, and the door doesn’t shut all the way!

Yes, we ‘could’ move the litter box to this small hallway each time but what a pain in the ass. Plus, I still have the floor and door to deal with. Not worth the risk or work.
The hallway is also too small to fit 2 baby jail-type toys.

View from the toilet out to the living room. Look! We remembered to feed Poor Cat!
We had to get a kid/kat gate (note the cut out cat head to the lower left). This keeps the twins out of the bedroom/bathroom/hallway (and litter box/cat food) while allowing the cat to get through. Unfortunately, it’s not a swing gate and we have to step OVER it. And we are short!
But it does what we need it to do. We got it through Safet.y Fir.St.

Perhaps you caught a glimpse of this….Behold the ultimate baby jail! We have 2 Little Play.zones interconnected.
Here it is in the evening after I’ve tidied it up for the next day.
By the way, I consider Boppy’s completely useless!!! The only thing I’ve used them for is the very first month or two. Now, they are recliners for the stuffed animals.

And…..the baby jail at 6:30am! See how they’ve already tried to push the wall down and Whoop Whoop’s head is on the hardwood floor?! Nice!
These kids are crazy.

However, they are fairly calm in the playzone when they first go in. I usually take that time to go around the corner to the kitchen and make a latte, my breakfast, their breakfast and get my pump on. I can poke my head out from time to time if if sounds like they are killing each other.

MOST of the time, they don’t start getting really rowdy for a good 20 minutes.
This week, I decided to take that time to SHOWER!!

I managed 4 out of 5 for the weekdays, one weekday evening and Chicken and I tag teamed on the weekend.***
It’s the cleanest I’ve been in over 9 months. But I still smell like a maple syrup dipped curry puff;)

***Full Disclosure***
I don’t wash my hair everyday. Never have. Probably never will unless I swim everyday or find myself living in the tropics.

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Moose, Monsters and Sharks

We finally broke down and bought the boys their first pair of shoes. Yes, we managed to make it nine whole months without spending money on shoes! Woot.
I’m not judging others on their shopping habits, but I’m in the camp that believes shoes on babies is ridiculous. Cute? Yes! But they serve no purpose. They are going anywhere using their feet! Why the need for shoes (because their IS no need, it’s just…CUTE!).
When they were infants, their feet were all bundling up in bunting and then it was spring when socks were enough… and they spent the entire summer mostly barefoot…and then socks again in the fall.

However, the other morning the temperature had dipped into the 50’s and I felt the judgement stares (imagined?) of people who probably thought my boy’s toes were going to freeze and fall off because they only had on socks. It was 55 degrees people, not 30!
BUT, But, but. They both have the habit of pulling off their socks. Usually the left one.
So, yeah, they each had one bare foot. And that foot was a bit chilly. But everytime I tried to put the sock back on–Pull! Fling!–off it came again.

A few clicks later to Zappo.s and we have the boy’s first pair of shoes.
Meet Mr. Moose Feet, Mr. Monster Feet and Mr. Shark Hats. I figure they are only going to be little once. Why not be silly and cute and dress them in ridiculous outfits while I can?

I think they are plenty warm now. And cute.

And while I’m at it, why not buy them silly shark hats that match their fleece jackets and highlight their new teeth?

Check out my fins!

Poor Grunter. He’s just woken up from a stroller nap and looks very confused as to why he’s dangling from a swing wearing ridiculous clothing.


How Long Did You Tandem Breastfeed Your Twins? And How?

The twins just turned nine months old and I’m still able to use the double bf-ing pillow, but it’s becoming a bit of a battle zone. They are so aware of each other–pulling hair, poking eyes, reaching over and grabbing the breast out of the other’s mouth, twisting my nipple. Good Times.

Also, one is crawling and the other one just starting, so I find when I am playing with them and they decide they want to eat/snack, they start pulling at my shirt, climbing on me and yelling. If I try to feed them separately and one sees the other getting the magic booby–all hell breaks loose.

I have recently begun feeding them sitting on the floor, Indian style with both of them straddling my legs facing towards me. It’s not very comfortable, but it seems to work OK.

I’ve also put them on their backs on the floor and leaned over them (also to work on getting the clogged milk ducts unclogged). Sort of a primal-yoga-pilates type move. Again, not the most comfortable, but it worked.

Suggestions needed! I’m trying to make it to a year.

I know I’ve got some twin mommies readers out there…..surely someone knows what I’m talking about.


Keeping Mastitis Away…Help Needed

For two days now I have had large lumps in my left breast. Having had mastitis before I know to get serious about preventing it.

Out came the hot rice sock, the hot showers “combing” the breast, the massages followed and I’ve upped the pumping and breastfeeding.
I’ve even breastfed in the middle of the night when I’ve been woken up by the pain in my breast.
So far, I’ve kept mastitis at bay, BUT, I can’t get these lumps out.
It’s very uncomfortable even holding the baby on that side as he pushes up against my breast.

I’m pretty sure this was brought on by a milk blister on my nipple which caused a backup/clog in the duct.
The nipple was pierced with a needle a couple of days ago and it is healing now, painful, but healing.
I feel like I’m doing everything I know to do, but it’s not going away. It hasn’t gotten worse, but it hasn’t gotten better either.


How Do You Feel About Your Pets Now?

When I started TTC-ing, my 3 cats were the biggest loves of my life (besides Chicken of course).

Throughout pregnancy those cats stayed by my side, though the upkeep of the two geriatric cats was seriously starting to leave me irritated simply because all that bending over HURT.

Somewhere in the 3rd trimester, (or was it the 2nd?) I had to kick them all out of the bed because they were disturbing my sleep. After 18 years, I had to close the door. I felt bad for them, but worse when I couldn’t sleep because of them.
I fretted that the two 18 year olds would die; they couldn’t last much longer with their declining health. I wished that the ‘time’ would come while I was pregnant so I wouldn’t have to deal with their death once the twins arrived.
I also didn’t want them to spend their last days feeling neglected, because while I in no way could predict just how drastically life with a baby/babies would change things up, I knew the cats wouldn’t be priority anymore.
Trying to imagine that wasn’t possible, but friends with pets kept saying….”just wait, you’ll see.”
And so when the time came to put the 2 old cats to sleep, I was devastated but in retrospect I’m so happy it happened AFTER the twin’s arrival. I didn’t have much time to cry over it. I think if I’d had to do that while pregnant I would’ve been so depressed and since I was on *bedrest* and unemployed, I would have had way too much time to think about it and let it suck me under.

Now we’re left with just one youngish cat. He’s 6 and he’s the lowest maintainance cat I’ve ever had–exactly what we need with twin babies! I feel bad for him sometimes, because while we don’t ‘forget’ about him, we also don’t shower him with attention or play with him the way we used to. It’s just not possible.

I’d love to leave our bedroom door open, stop the squeaky hinge from squeaking and let the cat sleep with us. But I cannot STAND it because he’s on/off/on/off and he wakes me up. At this point, no one had better f*ck with my sleep and if he sneaks in and wakes me up, I am LIVID.
I never saw that coming–how I feel about my cat–but the babies and my sleep have taken massive priority.

I just had this conversation with a pregnant (with twins) lady who swore she would never feel that way. She just loved her cats too much. Yes, so did I! You can’t explain that shift to people who are pregnant. Everyone kept telling me how the cats would practically become invisible and while we still enjoy his company in the evenings, he is probably a bit lonely. He lost his two kitty friends and now he’s lost a bit of us as well.
Poor Cat!

For those of you with pets, how do you feel about your pets now? Do you find it difficult to keep up with their needs and the baby?
I have a hard time remembering to feed, water and scoop the poop of ONE cat. I can’t imagine having 3 anymore and can’t even fathom the upkeep of a dog or two.
Curious how others feel….

***I just want to add that we are in no way neglecting “Poor Cat”. I have moved from Texas to Florida to Mass to NJ to NY in the last 12 years and took 4 cats with me in a single cab pickup truck by myself (oh yeah…I was that lesbian with a truck, did you see that coming??)
I LOVED my cats and always made sure that they had the best life. Poor Cat has an awesome life, just a little less awesome now that he’s not the center of attention.
Oh, and the babies? I think their first word will be “Kitty”. They LOVE him. Him? Not so much lovin’ the babies….yet!

Fall Parking It

This past weekend, I had the lovely opportunity to meet a wonderful couple who I’ve *known* through blogging *almost* since I started my own blog.

The ladies from (the now defunct) blog Queerstork visited my fair city and came by to see the fam. We introduced them to what we believe is the best latte in NYC and we all played in the park with the twins.
In addition to being a great writer, Queerstork is a fabulous artist and photographer.
Can’t wait to see them the next time they come visit. Why is it all my favorite people live somewhere else?

Here are some shots she captured:

The little family–I showered that day:)

Grunter a-swinging

Whoop Whoop the drooly monkey boy

Mommy and Grunter

NYC’s best latte