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August 16, 2011

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Hard Day’s Night Off

How many of you have taken a full ‘day off’ or ‘night off’?

Have you spent the night away from your child/children? How old were they the first time?
Who took care of them?


I haven’t had a full day or night off since the twins were born. That’s almost 19 months of non-stop baby care. Granted, I’ve had help and I am so fortunate for that.
But, lately I’m really feeling like I need some time alone. For US to have some time alone.
It’s hard, with the breast feeding and lack of family help. But I would even be willing to pump some again in order to take a bit of a break away.


These last 2 months with no nanny have been some of the toughest and also rewarding. There are days (or mornings) that I’m radiant with love and just can’t get enough of their wonderfulness followed by afternoons where I want to shoot myself and I raise my voice and then feel like shit and cry after they go to bed.
It’s fucking hard. My kids are hard. God, how I love them and I love their spunk but they are hard. I see parents with easy kids–even twins–and I think, “Man, you have no idea.”
These boys are spirited.


Chicken’s brother has a baby the same age as Grunter and W2. My BIL get free babysitting all the time–because, well, they live within 30 minutes of both sets of grandparents.
This past weekend, I found out that my BIL and his wife went away to Cape Cod for a few days–sans kiddo–and stayed in a free beach house (friend of the family’s) and the grandparents kept the kid.
I admit that I burned with white hot jealousy. We have never been offered this beach house. We have never been offered free babysitting. Not for an afternoon, a night and never a weekend.
We have never heard “Hey, why don’t you bring the twins up here and we’ll watch them while you two get a break.” Yes, we would even rent a car and go to them.
Chicken has had some child care breaks in the form of business trips, but neither of us have ever really had a ‘day off’.
Chicken says I need to get over it. I probably do.
But it still pisses me off.


I actually don’t even think my MIL and her husband could handle them–especially not in her house upstate. I really just want them to offer. Even if I know I wouldn’t take them up on it. I’m so petty. Seriously. I am. I know.