28 Million Boyz

There are 28 million sperm inside me in various life forms right now.  Some dead, others alive, some probably too stupid to swim forwards (they are men at the end of the day) and hopefully at least ONE going headfirst in the right direction and attacking ONE of my 4 or 5 eggs.  I mean please, boyz, it’s much easier this month.  Get it right, ok?

Yesterday my good luck fertility charms came in the form of Olive and L Babypants whom I had the pleasure of eating a lovely sushi lunch with just hours before IUI #1 (nice to get sushi in one last time!).

They are both wonderful and it was great Olive could squeeze in a lunch during her time here in our fine city.
My nurse said all systems looked great and again expressed surprise at how well I responded to the Clo.mid.

I bought a pineapple on the way home and tried to eat some.  Now, I did this last month and it was all “Oh yum, pineapple.  How I love you.  Chomp, chomp”  That was before I found out that the deal with the pineapple is that you are supposed to leave the core in it!  WTF people????!!!!  Who eats pineapple with the core???  So now it’s all, “Oh pineapple, yum, chomp, chomp, oh shit there’s the core, Gag Gag.”  The anticipation of when I will get the core has taken all of the fun out of pineapple eating.  Not Yummy.
Went to bed early with socks on feet.

This morning it was back to the clinic…with my lucky summer white pants on!  Yes, I figured it was probably the last day I was going to be able to wear them for awhile because soon the progesterone will bloat and distort my stomach and possibly make me cry about it.  But for today, they fit.
The sperm count today was even higher than yesterday and I still had lovely EWCV and a great looking cervix for IUI #2.  My sweet nurse insisted that “If you get pregnant this cycle, it’s all you, it had nothing to do with us and I really hope this is it for you!”  Woo and Hoo.

Afterwards I headed to the office for a meeting with our CEO, followed by a 3-course lunch at a very expensive restaurant.  I admit that after lunch I wanted nothing more than to ditch my stupid white pants in the street and walk home naked.  Almost.
Seriously, I was starting to cramp up and I don’t know if it was the ovulation pains or the IUI’s or the tight pants or just too much food or a combination of everything, but it hurt!

By 5pm, I felt like a waddling, stuffed platypus making her way down the streets.  It hurt so much to walk that old ladies were passing me.  Slowly I made my way to my acupuncturist for some post IUI needle-lovin’ who once again gushed that I am her poster child for a most excellent cycle on Cl.omid.

All this talk is making my head big and has me thinking that I might actually get pregnant.  It’s a nice feeling and a dangerous feeling all at the same time.

Now I’m just chilling at home with the cats…waiting for the night to come and my love flies back home to me.
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  • Reply Les Make Babies August 8, 2008 at 3:17 am

    I know we’re going to be hearing some good news from you in about two weeks! My fingers and toes are crossed!!

  • Reply nutella August 8, 2008 at 4:15 am

    Great! I’m so glad the IUIs went well. May the bloat and cramps go away and your 2WW be nice and easy.

  • Reply tui August 8, 2008 at 8:29 am

    lol yeah that little detail about the pineapple sucks doesn’t it?

    Good luck – glad you had two good IUIs, here’s hoping you’ve got one smart one in there!

  • Reply vee August 8, 2008 at 10:20 am

    Oi, big head! I hope you just got yourself pregnant!
    Oh, and if you buy more pineapple, buy a little one – I fine the core is less woody and gag-worthy.

  • Reply jessie August 8, 2008 at 10:51 am

    Excited and hopeful for you!!

  • Reply giggleblue August 8, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    oh, yes! it’s sounding perfect. fingers crossed that this is your month!

  • Reply queerstork August 8, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    28 million and only ONE has to make it to an egg. The odds are in your favour (even if they are men, at the end of the day)!

  • Reply mulberry August 8, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    go boyz go! do your duty and head on out! glad things went smoothly (except for the platypus transformation) and that your sweetie is now home :) looking forward to visiting with you during the 2ww.

  • Reply Gia August 8, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    Happy TWW!!!!
    are you coming to the next Meet up?
    August 24th?

  • Reply eggdance August 8, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    This all sounds great! I hoping you have a quick tww and that you you get very good news by the end of it!

  • Reply Heather August 8, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    i’m glad that your IUI went well, I’m hoping for good news in two weeks! :)
    **Toes and fingers crossed**

  • Reply Lizzie August 10, 2008 at 7:56 am

    the core, seriously ?!?!!?
    fingers crossed for your TWW !

  • Reply insertmetaphor August 11, 2008 at 10:15 pm

    I had no idea about the cord – that sucks! We’ll have to readjust. It was so wonderful to meet you. I hope L and I were the lucky charms and you’re only just getting a taste for waddling around the city.

  • Reply Carrie August 12, 2008 at 3:28 am

    omg good luck this cycle! and im curious what sperm bank you used? i cant tell if my bank has low counts in general, or if it’s just my donor?

  • Reply Eva August 12, 2008 at 11:46 am

    Good luck! And now you’ve turned me on to pineapple. Thanks!

  • Reply Carrie August 18, 2008 at 4:05 am

    hey chica
    remind me again of how you timed your IUIs? Did you trigger? how many hours later was #1 and #2?
    I had major cramping for 12 hours after the first IUI. I’d never had that before!

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