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Delayed Reaction

We had a massage, ate a great dinner, saw the excellent indie thriller “Tran.sibberian” and then the night went to hell.

You never know when the stress, the pressure, the weight of it all will hit you and how you will react.  Or not react.  There were hours spent alone, outside, in the middle of the night, processing the enormity of it all before finally coming back together again.  Feelings were hurt, but today the lesson seems to have been learned.  Today was better.

More blood.  My arms are starting to look like a heroin junkie.  I’m already thin.  I wonder what my co-workers, let alone strangers on the street, must think.
The numbers are still going down.  No D&C today.  But no blood either.  Hard to believe a week ago we were wishing for the blood to stop and now we are wishing for it flow.

How everything changes so quickly.

It is over almost before it began.
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14 Comments

  • Reply Clark September 1, 2008 at 3:16 am

    I am so sorry. We’re thinking of you right now.

    I hope that this week goes the way you need it to and that you get the ok to go to Bali.

  • Reply Shelley September 1, 2008 at 5:02 am

    Hey, so sorry for what you are going through. I’ve been there…

    Call any time if you want to talk about anything at all.

    SR

  • Reply insertmetaphor September 1, 2008 at 5:53 am

    xo

  • Reply wishinghopingpraying September 1, 2008 at 10:09 am

    I am sorry you have to go through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • Reply jessie September 1, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    Sending you both lots of love

  • Reply shawn September 1, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    So sorry…

    Please be kind and gentle with yourself. I’m glad you are being spared the D&C although it does make the waiting game last a little longer.

    Wishing you lots of peace and rest and hopes that you two are able to get away soon.

    xo

  • Reply Lizzie September 1, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    Hugs. It wouldn’t help if I told you it was all to be expected, and then some? To give yourself a break? Sending love. Big hugs.

  • Reply mulberry September 1, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    what ever your co-workers or strangers think, it comes no where near touching what is actually happened/happening… i’m glad you and k are finding ways to come together. much love.

  • Reply eggdance September 1, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I’m thinking of both of you and sending lots of love.

  • Reply Strawberry September 1, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    This time, I hope the blood shows up soon. You two are tremendously strong and it is only healthy to experience all the feelings you are. xo

  • Reply K September 2, 2008 at 1:16 am

    I’ve been offline for the past several days so I just read your last few posts all at once. I’m sorry to read what you and K have been going through. I’m sending lots of good vibes your way, not that you need them. Your strength and grace throughout all of this is simply amazing! I hope the numbers continue to go down so that Bali can stay on your horizon.

  • Reply Malea September 2, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    XOXO

  • Reply babypants September 2, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    It makes sense to me that you would have a delayed reaction. This is so very much to deal with. I know you are holding this all so very well. We have been thinking of you. xo L.

  • Reply R September 2, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    Just wanted to send you some positive energy and a big hug!!

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