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Howl

Yesterday, I came home to K who had pretty much all but created a powerpoint and excel spreadsheet to ‘see where we are’ and ‘what needs to happen now’ and of course inquired whether I had ‘formulated a strategy for the job search’.  She wanted to make sure I would do more cleaning and cooking now that I’m home and had already started making a list of “Times are Tough” dinner menus.  Whoa Nelly.  Can’t a girl just sit on the couch for awhile and process things?  I mean, it had only been 2 hours!

K is a consultant, this is what she does.  I just laughed at her and told her to chill out.
She’s freaking out big time, but I’m fine.  Really.

I’ve rarely mentioned my job on this blog, but I didn’t like it, I was under-utilized and I was glad to go.  I really do believe this was a (insert cliche) blessing in disguise.
The first 3 things I thought when I was called up to ‘the office’:
  1. Yeah!  I don’t have to move to that crappy cubicle! (the move was scheduled for this Friday)
  2. Yeah!  I don’t have to go to the all-day team meeting Wednesday where I have to pretend to be excited about data!
  3. Damn.  No more free office supplies.
This has been a job that I kept because I knew I was trying to get pregnant and it worked well with my schedule.  The hours were flexible, no one cared if I came in late…or not at all.  I’ve had 5 managers in 2.5 years and our team has had road blocks at every turn trying to get projects greenlighted.  I was the only remaining team member left.  Everyone else had either quit or been laid off.  
To say I was often not busy is an understatement.  Last summer my 2 other co-workers and I unofficially decided we would work part time…and no one noticed….
So seriously, don’t feel sorry for me.
I have been wanting to quit for a long time but kept thinking “but surely I’ll get pregnant soon…”  Eh.  Not so sure anymore.
The universe just gave me a swift kick in the ass and lit a little fire as well.
It was time to go.  Past time.
And yes, the economy is in the crapper, but there are still plenty of jobs out there in NYC.

I got a bit of severance and I have all the baby money saved up, so that equals over one year’s worth of living expenses.  Yes, I wanted that money to go towards a down payment on a house (condo/co-op), but if we have to keep renting, so be it.  K is the main breadwinner and it’s much better that it was me being laid off and not her.

Funny thing:  It had been announced that we were having a very important national call.  Everyone was gathering in conference rooms to listen in but I (and a few others) opted to call in from my desk.  As soon as they said they’d be doing layoffs in the afternoon, I immediately starting cleaning off my hard drive and emailing all my files to myself!  Ha!  I KNEW.

Also, during the ‘talk’ with the director (who I have only worked less than 2 months) he said that I should not tell anyone that I’d been laid off just yet.  WTF?!  I looked at him dead pan and said, “When someone walks down ‘the’ hallway right after a conference call where it has been announced you’re laying people off, trust me, everyone knows.  It’s like Dead Man walking out there.” (there were 15 of us yesterday)
He didn’t have anything to say after that.  Weasel.
I told everyone.

My friends were having a dinner party last night (good timing for me!) so I had the opportunity to drink wine and stand on the balcony of the 18th floor and howl at the moon as it rose over the east river.  It was a gorgeous full moon and I do declare: howling on a balcony just as good as screaming in a car.
Thank you Fab C, for joining in the howl!

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14 Comments

  • Reply cindyhoo2 February 11, 2009 at 2:17 am

    Glad you are taking the “unplanned freedom” so well. I hope you find something you can feel passionate about soon– aside from TTC, cause I cannot figure out how to make this a career.

  • Reply Lizzie February 11, 2009 at 3:00 am

    Well, you are a rock star. Having perspective right now that it takes most people a long time to acquire (me included). xo

    AND OH MY GOD I AM NOT KIDDING – I JUST SCROLLED DOWN AND MY ‘WORD VERIFICATION’ TO PROVE THAT I AM NOT A SPAMMER – ARE YOU READY FOR THIS??? …….. “STORKS”

  • Reply Jen February 11, 2009 at 3:30 am

    You have an amazing outlook! And, might I point out that holy crap, you have one yr expenses saved up…I think you will be just fine!!! I only wish I could say the same. Howl away.

  • Reply eeney meeney miney mommy February 11, 2009 at 3:40 am

    I was worried about you but it sounds like you are okay. Sometimes when the universe is sceaming at you and you aren’t listening, it gives you a little shake. I think it was trying to tell you that you would miss a great opportunity somewhere if you didn’t get off your ass and move on.

    I mean that with a big smile and a wink.

  • Reply insertmetaphor February 11, 2009 at 5:17 am

    Well, I’m sure glad you didn’t lose a job you love. It sounds like this could be a kind of blessing. Unlike a lot of people who are getting laid off these days you’ve got some savings and a fully employed partner – yay for that! I hope you can relax for a few days before K puts you on the job searching track!

  • Reply tbean February 11, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    ARRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO

    (My contribution to the howling)

    You have a rock star attitude and I’m so glad you hated your job anyway. I hope door number 2 has amazing things behind it.

    Also, “Formulated a job search strategy” cracked me up. :) I’m a little bit like your K there. My wife often has to tell me when she is upset that this is not a “solve my problem” upset, just a “feel my pain” upset. hee.

  • Reply nutella February 11, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    Whew, I’m glad that you are at least a little happy to be free of the job and have a decent cushion for the time being.

    And K’s little presentation sort of makes me giggle. She clearly loves you very much.

  • Reply evangeline February 11, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    You have a great attitude. Everyone I know has been laid off…including myself not that long ago. It sucks but I’m a true believer that everything happens for a reason, too.

    Hang in there.

  • Reply A February 11, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    It’s a good thing that your DP K is so organized and is such a planner, but I agree you need a little time to just relax and get yourself together.

    I love reading your blog. I felt like I was there with you. Clearing off your hard drive and yelling off the balcony.

    You’ll find something soon. I feel it.

  • Reply anofferingoflove February 11, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    even though it sounds like it may have been for the best, i am still so sorry to hear of the unexpected twist in your life. getting laid off can be really stressful.

    (and good for you for telling everyone!!)

  • Reply queerstork February 11, 2009 at 8:00 pm

    Sounds like you’re going to be just fine! Does getting laid off get any notice or do you just wake up the next day with no job to go to?

    There’s a little bit of you screaming for a trip, isn’t there?

    I’ve been secretly wishing I’d get laid off so I was secretly envious of you. Being laid off is one of the only ways you can start collecting employment insurance (you have that, right?)

  • Reply Gia February 11, 2009 at 10:42 pm

    Well that’s my girl…..way to be positive……

  • Reply Carrie February 11, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    omg i am so sorry about the layoff. but girl, wow. you are handing it like a pro!!!!

  • Reply Next in Line February 12, 2009 at 4:05 am

    K is awesome. The two of you are truly a dynamic duo and will fly through this blip. I love the Times are Tough dinner menus. I hope you share some here.

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