I’d been hospitalized over the Xmas holidays, the day after Xmas to New Year’s Day.
They thought for sure I would deliver, but after being monitored for a week, my pre-E symptoms were minor enough I was instructed to go home, monitor my blood pressure 3xday and either stay in bed or in the recliner.
I did as told and every week charted my blood pressure rising, rising, rising.
On Wednesday, Jan. 20 I had my weekly OB appointment. That morning as I released the cuff and recorded a record high number I said to Chicken “pack that bag, they aren’t going to let me come back home”. I felt absolutely fine. But I just knew.
Sure enough I was told to go straight to L & D. We didn’t. There was a little voice inside my head that felt so rushed as I was leaving and I just wanted to come back home and take it all in one last time.
So, we got some take out–a lamb shwarma from the street guy–and ate it in the taxi on the way home. Chicken finished packing her bag and mine while I sat in the Lazy Boy a bit dazed and confused. I remember petting the cats and looking around thinking, “This is the last time anything will be like this. The next time I come home, we’ll have babies.”
I wasn’t ready. I mean, I know everyone says you’ll never be truly ready but really: I wasn’t ready. I am a procratinator by nature and even though I had loads of time to prepare and should have been tick ticking that list, there were still very basic (stupid) things I had failed to do. Like take the breast pump out of the box and figure out how it works (hint–boiling the parts once the twins have arrived home and you are crazy trying to figure out everything? too late.) or get a changing pad. You know, BASIC things. But mostly, we were prepared.
I took a belly shot and had Chicken take photos, remembering that I would never be pregnant again.
35 week and 4 days…
In Triage after being admitted…I look so pretty:) Pretty HUGE!
Even though it was only 364 days ago and I thought I would never forget, it’s really hard to remember just how I felt pregnant. How hard it was, how painful and exhausting. I never thought that feeling would go away–I’m glad it has. So much has happened in the past year, that I look at these photos now and it seems a million miles away.
What a wonderful, crazy, hazy year it’s been.
I’ve never written my birth story before. But it’s time. I’m ready. Stay tuned….