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Why I Hate Meetings

Because I just cannot concentrate and I don’t have that much to say.  I try so hard and look alert and say all the right things, but mentally I wander…


“OK, I’m in a meeting, concentrate.  It’s really cold in here, I wonder if this jacket is going to keep me warm enough for the next hour.  I hate being cold.  Keep making eye contact.  Not too much, you don’t want to just stare at her.  I wonder if I’m pregnant.  I could be pregnant, right?  Oh shit, no I can’t.  I haven’t had an IUI yet.  Definitely not pregnant.  But maybe I’ll get pregnant this time.  Why are they talking so much?  This project is boring. There’s not that much to talk about.  I wish I had another job.  Oh shit, I just tried to stifle a yawn but a little came out.  I hope they didn’t see me.  Participate, nod your head, say ‘right, right’.  I need to call my RE.  We need to talk.  I’m going to end up doing IVF, aren’t I?  That sucks.  Actually the needles suck.  I’m very scared of the needles.  Look alert!  Oh look, they have coffee, I wish I had some coffee.  I bet if I had coffee I’d talk more.  I wonder if I had more to say when I was caffeinated? Shit, they’re both looking at me.  What did I miss?  Fuck.  Oh nothing, good.  Wow, I must’ve really spaced out that time.   Hey, window washers, hi guys!  Be careful.  That looks dangerous.  I’m glad I’m not a window washer.  That must be really fun looking in on everyone in their windows though.  That’s kind of cool. I wonder what time it is.  Holy shit, it’s only been 22 minutes.  Damn.”

I cannot wait for this day to be over…because K flies home tonight and tomorrow we both work from home!!!
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12 Comments

  • Reply liberationtheory August 1, 2008 at 12:50 am

    this is blog is too friggin hilarious. i HATE meetings like that!

  • Reply C&H August 1, 2008 at 1:44 am

    OMG…you were at my meeting! It’s so, so true…I hate meetings like that. I especially hate meetings to talk about what meetings we need. Please…are you kidding me!?!

  • Reply insertmetaphor August 1, 2008 at 4:30 am

    Oh yeah, me too.

    Except I actually like some staff meetings because they’re big enough that I can anonymously get lost in my thoughts.

  • Reply vee August 1, 2008 at 10:46 am

    One great thing about working for yourself – no meetings!! Hurrah for your girl being back tonight, and for working from home tomorrow!

  • Reply evangeline August 1, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    hahahahahaaha this is hilarious!

    have a great day tomorrow :)

  • Reply Rebecca August 2, 2008 at 12:50 am

    OMG…someone who gets through meetings the same way I do! Priceless.

  • Reply mulberry August 2, 2008 at 2:20 am

    what are you doing in my head???

  • Reply dakota August 2, 2008 at 2:21 am

    Hillarious Puffer!

  • Reply timaree August 2, 2008 at 10:18 pm

    This could so be me in one of our faculty meetings. Ugh. Too funny!

  • Reply mutti August 4, 2008 at 2:31 am

    Great minds must think alike. It seems there are a lot of great minds reading your blog. Hopefully you’ll have very exciting things to think about in your meetings in the next few weeks. Or maybe you’ll have to excuse yourself from meetings to go puke or pee. Won’t that be sweet?

  • Reply Carrie August 4, 2008 at 3:36 am

    oh man, i can so relate to this! how our minds just wander and wander during the TTC process. So brutal. I just wish i could get preggers, so i could get out of the “before” stage, where we just live our lives in this holding pattern. so rough, hon, i know. I also loved your post about the Madonna workouts. i know exactly what you mean!!!

  • Reply eggdance August 7, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    Ok– this is totally me at meetings (complete with the barely stifled yawn and everything). Trying to look alert (but not too alert– that’s scary) is still something I’m working on!

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